


Life's a Beach

by Stjosten



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Drug Use, Getting Back Together, Gratuitous Swearing, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mentions of past abuse, Pining, Soft Andrew Minyard, Summer Vibes, Surfing, aaron is a skater boy because of course he is, alcohol mention, beach town vibes, drug mention, just a bunch of idiots in love, mistunderstandings, second chapter is kevaaron, very small amount of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:09:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24918109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stjosten/pseuds/Stjosten
Summary: Kevin comes back to Palmetto after two years away with a familiar face in tow. Aaron is a mess, Wymack is trying his best, and Andrew really doesn't want to have to see Neil Josten's face ever again. It's too bad he doesn't have much choice in the matter.or a surfing/beach town au with a whole lot of pining
Relationships: Kevin Day/Aaron Minyard, Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Comments: 67
Kudos: 430





	1. Chapter 1

Wymack walked into Palmetto Surf Shop with an extra large coffee, a pack of cigarettes sticking out of his Tommy Bahama shirt, and a scowl on his face.

Andrew didn’t entertain him with a _good morning_ or even a _hello_. He just watched as Wymack slammed his coffee down and ducked under the front counter to get to the back. The coffee spilled over the edge of his cup and accumulated on the counter top. A counter top that would most definitely stain.

“You’re making a mess,” Andrew commented. He made no move to clean up after his disgruntled boss. 

“Kevin’s coming home,” Wymack said.

“Is he?” Andrew asked. It wasn’t the first time Kevin had claimed he was coming back to Palmetto since he left over two years ago. It was actually just six months ago that he had said he was coming home, only to change his mind less than a week later. 

“Yes,” Wymack replied, he looked aged by the news, which wasn’t completely surprising, but there was definitely something that he was hiding about his son's return. 

Aaron came out of the back storage room at exactly that moment. He had both arms wrapped around an oversized cardboard box. Andrew watched him struggle with his chin resting on his hand.

“A little help, maybe?” 

Andrew definitely wouldn’t help him. 

Wymack walked over and took the box, discarding it on the floor by the back shelves. 

“Oh-uh,” Aaron sputtered, “I had it.” 

Andrew nodded sagely, “Clearly.” 

Aaron shot him a hard glare before going to the cardboard box and starting the process of unpacking it’s contents onto the shelf. This box seemed to contain their restock of surf board wax. Something they haven’t had to restock since last summer. 

“Kevin’s coming home,” Wymack repeated for Aaron. 

Aaron, who had been juggling a total of three containers of wax, dropped everything to the floor of the Surf shack. He turned deathly pale and his eyes went wide. Andrew watched his reaction with great interest. You’d think he’d just been given news about someone’s untimely demise, not the return of his childhood best friend. 

“He’s what?” Aaron asked. 

“Just in time for Father’s Day,” Andrew commented, because he was far too entertained by the looks of unease on both his boss and his brother’s faces. “I bet he’s going to give you a novelty surfboard as a sorry-I-disappeared-for-two-years gift.”

Wymack seemed unphased by Andrew’s antagonizing. 

“He didn’t say how long he’s staying,” Wymack replied. He started to pick up the discarded board wax from the floor when Aaron made no move to clean up after himself. “But he sent me a picture of his ticket. One way trip.” 

“Interesting,” Andrew said under his breath, “Any particular reason?” 

Wymack placed the last container on the shelf and turned to look at Andrew. He didn’t look particularly thrilled about his son’s return. Probably because he was waiting for the other shoe to drop, or maybe there was more than he was willing to admit. 

“He’s bringing Neil,” Wymack replied. 

_Oh. That explained it._

Andrew tried not to let the news startle him or affect him in any way. Neil Josten didn’t matter. He was nothing and Andrew was intent to keep it that way. 

He could push aside their very brief and definitely _not_ substantial relations. It didn’t affect him. Especially not since it was three years ago and Andrew had found new attractive strangers to pass the time with. 

Aaron seemed to have gained back some autonomy over his body. His head whipped around to look at Wymack so fast that Andrew thought maybe his head would fall straight off.

“He’s _what_?” Aaron asked. 

“Apparently they’ve been in California together for the past few years,” Wymack said, “Kevin found him at a surfing competition.” 

Of course, Andrew once again thought. That made perfect sense. Neil was an addict when it came to surfing. Kevin was just as bad, if not worse. The two of them had surfed together during the summer when Neil would stay with his Uncle. Kevin stuck with it even after Neil vanished from their lives. 

_It definitely did not bother him that he was coming back. It had been nothing then. It meant nothing now._

“Kevin’s a champion surfer now,” Wymack said, “He claims he doesn’t want to surf competitively anymore.” 

“So he just decides to _come back_?” Aaron asked, “Like he never left?” 

Andrew was incredibly interested in the reason his brother was so upset about the news. He had reacted similarly the last time Wymack claimed Kevin was coming home. Only that time Kevin didn’t come home and Aaron went back to business as usual. Skateboarding and surfing in his free time and smoking weed when he didn’t think anyone was looking. 

“What’s the problem?” Andrew asked, keeping his eyes on his brother for any sort of reaction, “I didn’t think Kevin’s departure weighed so heavily on you.” 

Aaron’s face stilled for a second in shock before he reigned all reactions back in. A blank slate that looked far too much like Andrew’s own face stared back at him. The only difference in their appearance now was their hair. 

_Interesting._

“It didn’t- doesn’t,” Aaron said quickly. He turned away and went back to stocking the shelves. 

“I’m going to have to pick them up on Thursday,” Wymack said, “Can you watch the shop?” 

The question was directed at Andrew. Aaron wasn’t trusted to watch the shop on his own anymore. Not since he fell asleep when he was in the shop alone. Someone had left with more surf accessories than they managed to sell in the off season. Collectively. 

“Me?” Andrew asked, voice dripping with sarcasm, “I’m honored. I would like nothing more than to sit here in the blistering heat to rent out your surf equipment to adrenaline junkies and untrained hipsters.” 

Wymack didn’t even react. 

“Good,” he grabbed his coffee from the counter and went to his back office, “Oh and lose the attitude, Minyard.”

Andrew flipped him off. Wymack returned the gesture and disappeared into his office. 

Andrew stared holes into his brother’s head as he finished restocking the shelves. 

“Do you want to talk about your feelings?” Andrew asked. 

“Oh fuck off,” Aaron replied. He grabbed the empty box and went off into the storage room. 

Andrew wiped the coffee off the counter and went back to his boring book, a shitty drama about cowboys. He absentmindedly picked the last of the blue nail polish from his nails. 

He definitely _wasn’t_ thinking about seeing Neil again. Nope. Not even a little bit. 

*

Palmetto was small in that there were maybe five hundred permanent residents and about twelve of them were Andrew’s age. They had all grown up together, gone to school together, surfed together, done recreational drugs together, and apparently shared partners like one would share popcorn at a movie theater. 

Andrew didn’t usually care enough to keep up with who was fucking who, but he caught on to the more permanent arrangements as they settled with age. 

Allison and Renee were the newest, and probably the strangest, item in their little group. Andrew was not entirely surprised by the development. There had been bets about Andrew and Renee getting together throughout high school. It wasn’t until Andrew announced that he was as gay as the day was long for them to finally drop the bet. Only Allison walked away with money. Which should have been the clue that Andrew needed to piece the two of them together, apparently he wasn’t as observant as he thought he was. 

“Did you hear the news?” Renee asked.

They were hidden from prying eyes in the back of the Seashell Diner, the only place that wasn’t currently ransacked with tourists. Andrew’s thighs were sticking to the vinyl of the bench. It was blistering hot for early June and the Seashell Diner prefered to turn on their ceiling fans and keep the windows open rather than turn on the air conditioning. Andrew was sweating uncomfortably. 

“What news?” Andrew replied dryly. He cupped his hand around his melting strawberry milkshake and fingered the condensation that was collecting on the glass. Renee flicked him a knowing look and stirred her iced tea with her pink paper straw. 

“That Kevin is coming back,” she said calmly, “With some company.” 

“Thrilling,” Andrew replied. He sucked in as much milkshake as he could without giving himself brain freeze. Easier to keep his mouth full than make any comments about the impending arrivals. 

“It’s been a while,” Renee commented innocently, as if she didn’t know exactly what she was doing, “How long has it been since Neil came to visit?” 

608 days. But who was counting.

“Who knows,” Andrew replied through his straw. The waitress at the counter was humming a Jimmy Buffet song as she whipped the table in front of them.

“I’m sure you do,” Renee replied, “You remember everything.” 

Andrew remembered the day before Neil left. It was August. They had snuck into the pool house behind Stuart’s house. Andrew remembered the soft noises Neil made. The sharp intakes of breath, the needy noises he let out when Andrew was inside of him, the sharp jut of Neil’s Adam's apple when he leaned his head back. The way they didn’t look away from each other not once through the entire affair. How Neil had whispered Andrew’s name as he came, as if it was a prayer and Neil was a holy man. 

Andrew also remembered waking up the next morning to an empty pool house and a note that said _I’m sorry._

It definitely didn’t bother him. Andrew had sex before Neil, he had sex after Neil, it was definitely nothing to write home about. It was definitely not different from all of the other times and it was definitely _not_ something Andrew missed. 

He chewed on the end of his paper straw and watched as Renee gave him her usual knowing smirk. The I-know-something-you-don’t-know look that Andrew really fucking hated. 

“I can’t even remember what he looks like,” Andrew said, but it was a bold faced lie. 

“Of course not,” Renee said, but she was still smirking, “I’m sure you definitely won’t recognize him if he were to walk through the doors of the diner right now.” 

Andrew didn’t look away from Renee, who was probably baiting him to give away some type of reaction. Andrew wasn’t having any of it. 

“Imagine,” Andrew said, “A world where not everyone has a hard on for Neil Josten and Kevin Day.” 

Renee’s laugh was a bright chime that echoed in the mostly empty diner. 

“If there is such a world,” Renee replied, she swirled her tea and leaned back in her vinyl booth, “I’m sure the Minyard twins would be the exception.” 

Andrew decided not to attempt to unpack that sentence. He simply scowled and went back to his milkshake. Renee laughed knowingly and pretended she hadn’t said anything at all. 

*

Aaron and Andrew were currently occupying Nicky’s old beach house. The one that his successful, rich, businessman husband owned. The two of them were rarely in Palmetto any more. As soon as Andrew and Aaron were old enough, and stable enough, to be on their own, the two had left and moved to California where the successful, rich, businessman husband ran his successful, rich business.

The house was too big for them but Andrew and Aaron made due by filling the entire house with shit that neither of them needed. Aaron collected old broken surfboards and skateboards and hung them from the walls of the first floor. There was a broken skateboard in the kitchen that Aaron had managed to turn into a spice rack. There was half a surfboard in their bathroom to hold towels and a whole surfboard with only a chunk missing from the end that they leaned next to the front door for keys and jackets. 

The entire house was a nightmare, in Andrew’s opinion. Too much shit that they didn't really need, and far too many things that reminded Andrew too much of a surf addicted red-head that he couldn’t seem to stop thinking about. 

Andrew came home Thursday evening to find Aaron with a lit joint in his mouth sitting on the couch with a new longboard sitting across his lap. The coffee table was covered in tools, weed, and parts for the wheels on the board. Andrew raised an eyebrow at Aaron but didn’t comment on the smell or the mess. 

“Why are you moping?” Andrew asked, he hooked his keys onto the back of the surfboard by the door, the hook with his name under it, and walked into the living room to inspect the level of dysfunction taking place in their house. 

Aaron didn’t look up from where he was currently screwing something into the bottom of the board. 

“I’m not,” He said around the joint in his mouth.

“Could have fooled me,” Andrew replied. He didn’t really want to know about Aaron’s current mental health crisis. There was leftover poke in the fridge that he was much more interested in at the moment. 

Andrew went straight to the kitchen and pulled out his left overs. The first floor was completely open, so Andrew was able to lean against the counter and watch his brother work as he ate. Aaron finished screwing, whatever the fuck it was he was screwing, and dropped the screwdriver to the table. It clattered against the rest of his tools and settled between the wheels and the mount. 

Aaron took one last long drag of his joint before removing it and tapping it out on the ashtray in front of him. He held the smoke for a few seconds before blowing it out into the living room. He hadn’t even bothered to open any of the windows so the smoke accumulated around him until it was caught in the movement of the ceiling fan, whipping around the living room in waves. 

“You’re not being subtle,” Andrew said, he stabbed a piece of salmon and waited for Aaron to react. 

“Fuck off,” Aaron said, “I don’t want to hear shit from you.” 

“You’re a particular type of pathetic today,” Andrew said, egging Aaron for a reaction, “Actually, you’ve been in a foul mood since Wymack said Kevin was coming home.” 

“Like you’re much better,” Aaron retorted, he picked up the longboard from his lap and discarded it onto the couch beside him, “You sat at the surf shop today as if you were waiting for something to happen.” 

“I was,” Andrew replied, “It’s my job.” 

Aaron let out a loud groan and threw his head back against the back of the couch. Andrew continued eating as if nothing had happened. Aaron could have his own breakdown without dragging Andrew into it. Even if he was right. Andrew had been on edge all day. Wymack went to pick up Kevin and Neil from the regional airport at noon. The rest of the day Andrew had been waiting nervously for one of the two to show up unannounced.

“Don’t talk to me,” Aaron said. He grabbed the longboard and grabbed more parts to screw into place, “I don’t want to hear shit from you.” 

Andrew rolled his eyes and finished the rest of his poke. He opened the windows to let out the lingering smoke and smell of weed. Aaron ignored him, because he was apparently in a bad mood, and Andrew didn’t push. It was in bad form either way. Aaron would just throw Neil back in Andrew’s face anyway. Besides, Aaron was the one that had to watch Andrew in the aftermath of _Neil_. He had too much ammo to use against him. 

*

The surf shop was usually quiet in the beginning of June. July and August were the big months for Palmetto. The town would swarm with tourists from across the state and sometimes across the country. They weren’t known for much other than their surfing, small town aesthetic, quaint family owned businesses, and the rich seaside homes that the elite only used in the summer months. 

Palmetto Surf Shop rented out surf boards to tourists but also sold surf boards and accessories and repaired surfboards and skateboards for anyone that required the service. Aaron was the one that did most of the repairing. Wymack had been training him since he was a freshman in high school. He had taken to it like a duck in water. Soon enough Wymack was leaving all repairs, polishings, and modifications to Aaron. 

They practically ran the surf shop for Wymack. Andrew handled the front counter and the ordering while Aaron took care of stocking shelves and repairing boards. Wymack only really showed up just to wall himself off in his office for the majority of the day. There wasn’t much for them to do right now anyway. 

It wasn’t entirely surprising for Kevin to show up, in hindsight Andrew should have expected it to happen sooner rather than later. He just hadn’t anticipated that he would show up the day after his arrival back in Palmetto. 

“Day,” Andrew greeted as Kevin came up to the front of the surf shop, a large board tucked under his arm. Andrew was _not_ surprised at the sight. Kevin’s entire life started and stopped with surfing, everything else was a chore.

“Minyard,” Kevin greeted, “Is Wymack here?” 

Wymack was obviously here and Andrew could tell immediately that Kevin knew that.

“Yes,” Andrew replied, “Can we do something for you, Day?” 

“I need a polish,” Kevin said, gesturing towards his surfboard, which, to Andrew, looked polished enough. 

Andrew gave Kevin a stony stare before ringing the bell on the countertop. Kevin gave him a look of confusion as Andrew continued to slap the bell as hard as he could. 

“Andrew,” Aaron said, he pushed past the beaded back door and into the front of the shop, “I told you to stop using the bell like that. I’m not a dog.” 

Andrew stopped ringing the bell and waited for Aaron’s inevitable reaction to Kevin Day in the flesh. 

He was not disappointed. 

Aaron froze as soon as he was free of the door beads. His mouth hung open like a dead fish just caught on a line. Andrew was thoroughly amused. 

“Kevin wants someone to polish his board,” Andrew said dryly, “Would you do the honors of polishing his board?” 

“You need to stop saying _polish his board_ like it’s something dirty,” a new voice said. A voice that Andrew definitely recognized immediately. A voice that Andrew remembered with much more of a husk, breathless, and pleading. Andrew definitely didn’t freeze at the sound of it. He definitely didn’t react at all. 

“Neil,” Andrew greeted. Neil stepped to the front of the shop and leaned against the counter. His eyes as blue as the ocean behind him. “Attempting humor never suited you.”

“You’d be surprised to know that some people find me funny,” Neil retorted. 

“You sure?” Andrew asked, “You’d be surprised what someone would do to get in someone’s pants.” 

It probably wasn’t the right thing to say because as soon as the words were out Neil’s lips curled into a smile that wasn’t even the least bit friendly. It was the type of smile that was reserved for _other people_ , not Andrew. Andrew scowled at him.

“I’m sure that’s exactly what they were attempting,” Neil replied, “You’d know all about that, wouldn’t you?” 

Andrew wanted to reach over the counter and strangle him. He opened his mouth to retort but was quickly interrupted by Aaron slapping his hand onto the counter top to get their attention.

“Give me the board,” Aaron said, reaching his hand out towards Kevin, “I’ll polish it for you.” 

Kevin looked startled and then nodded fervently. He handed the board over the counter to Aaron who took it with practiced ease, not even struggling a little bit. 

“Give me an hour,” Aaron said shortly. Kevin nodded. He looked like he wanted to say something else, but was quickly shut down by Aaron leaving the front of the shop and pushing his way through the beaded door. 

Kevin and Neil lingered by the front counter awkwardly. Andrew chewed on the back of his pen before he decided to throw them a bone. 

“Go away,” He said, “Come back in an hour.” 

Kevin furrowed his eyebrows but nodded in understanding, his head hanging low as if he had something to be ashamed of. 

_Interesting._

He turned on his heel and walked off down the path towards the beach in a way that suggested he had somewhere very important to be. Andrew watched him go because it was easier than acknowledging that Neil was still in front of him, as bright as the day he left, his chin resting in the palm of his hand as he leaned on the counter.

“Good to see you, Andrew,” Neil said, standing up straight, “Or something like that.” 

“Yeah,” Andrew retorted, finally looking away from Kevin’s retreating back to meet Neil’s blue, blue, _fucking blue_ , eyes, “Something like that.” 

Neil knocked the counter top once with his knuckles and then disappeared to follow after Kevin. Andrew watched him as he walked away, a strange gait in his step. Andrew didn’t think too much about it. He listened as Aaron’s music suddenly came on and flooded out the back room and into the front of the shop. It was loud enough that even Andrew could feel the vibrations through the wood of his stool. 

So much for a boring quiet summer. It seemed that Andrew was going to have to deal with not one but three emotionally stunted headaches. He didn’t include himself in that calculation. There was no need. He didn’t feel anything anyway. 

When Kevin came back an hour later, Aaron had finished the board as promised. He left it with Andrew behind the desk and immediately left to get lunch. 

“Where’s your shadow?” Andrew asked when Kevin approached the counter. 

Kevin scowled and said, “Where’s yours?” 

Andrew didn’t have a good response to that so he said nothing. He pulled Kevin’s board from behind the counter and handed it off to him. 

“You’re dad already paid,” Andrew lied, because it would piss Wymack off that he didn’t change Kevin _and_ that he referred to him casually as dad. 

Kevin looked taken back by the comment and nodded and said his thanks. He tucked the surfboard under his arm and hesitated at the counter for a moment. Andrew watched him with boredom. 

“Spill it,” Andrew said, “You look like you want to say something.” 

“Do you still surf?” 

_How boring._

“No,” Andrew replied, and then raised his hand to stop Kevin from saying something else, “And before you ask, no, I will not surf with you.” 

Kevin’s face twisted sadly before he schooled his expression once again. A behavior that looked far too much like something Neil would do. Apparently their time together had allowed some of Neil’s mannerisms to slip into Kevin. 

“Does Aaron?” Kevin asked, which was surprising. Andrew gave him a curious look, attempting to figure out why he would ask.

“You’ll have to ask him,” Andrew said, “He’s off getting lunch at Seashell if you’re so inclined.” 

Kevin nodded and adjusted the board under his arm before clearing his throat and stepping away.

“Well-uh,” he started awkwardly, “Thanks for this.” He slapped his free hand on the side of his board. Andrew rolled his eyes. 

“Don’t hurt yourself, there,” Andrew commented.

Kevin’s expression loosened ever so slightly and he rolled his eyes at Andrew’s flippant attitude. The smallest, tiniest bit of a smile curled his lips upwards. It made him look younger by years. It was almost impossible to see the difference between the Kevin in front of him and the Kevin that left. 

“I’ll see you, Andrew,” Kevin said.

“Yeah,” Andrew replied, “See you.” 

*

There was a tradition among their small group of friends, well friends was a very loose term for what they were, they were sort of forced together by circumstance, every Friday they would go to the private beach behind Allison’s beach house and have a bonfire. 

Tonight was special for several different reasons. One was that Aaron was already a joint and a half in when they arrived, apparently needing some extra courage to show up. Two was that Allison and Renee were spending their first summer together as an official item, which meant that Allison was far too excited to be hosting the summer bonfire as a taken woman. The last was that Kevin and Neil were attending after nearly two summers without them. 

Andrew wasn’t bothered by their presence, at least he told himself that he wasn’t. The others were more enthusiastic about their sudden return than he was. It was boring, to be perfectly honest. It seemed like the only ones that were having trouble coping with Kevin and Neil’s return were Aaron and Andrew. That was something Andrew _definitely_ didn’t want to think about.

The bonfire was in full swing by the time Kevin and Neil arrived. Kevin was dressed for night surfing, which wasn’t surprising in the least. He brought the same board that Aaron had polished for him earlier that day and there was a pep in his step as he went straight over to the collecting group of surfers preparing for their nightly ritual. 

Andrew stayed back on the beach and watched as Dan, Matt, Allison, Seth, Jeremy, and Aaron prepped with their boards by the shore. 

Night surfing wasn’t normally safe or recommended, but they had been surfing for the majority of their lives if anyone could handle it, Andrew was sure it was them. 

The rest of the usual bonfire attendees were sitting around the fire with drinks in hand. Andrew could hear the soft music coming from the radio that Matt had brought over. The sounds of their voices twisted and curled with the soft music. It was a nice feeling. Something reminiscent to their days as curious youths, waiting for the right wave to hit in the middle of the night. 

Andrew sat away from the others because he always did. His feet tucked into the soft sand and a beer in his hand. He meant it when he said he didn’t surf anymore. Not with prying eyes and definitely not with a group of surfing addicts. They took it far too seriously. It turned him off of the entire affair. 

Someone sat down beside him and Andrew snuck a peak out of the corner of his eye to see Neil. He adjusted his knees so he could curl into himself, arms wrapped around his legs and head resting on the tops of his knees. 

Andrew watched him for a moment before looking back to the shore. Allison and Renee were both in the water now, sitting atop their boards and leaning in the other’s direction. 

“Kevin says you don’t surf anymore,” Neil commented. Andrew tried to fight the urge to look over at him, but apparently his body didn’t feel like listening to his brain today. He looked over to Neil, who was watching him through the loose fringe of hair hanging on his forehead. Andrew was half tempted to reach out and brush the hair aside as he did many times all those summers ago.

“So you gossip about me now,” Andrew said dismissively. Neil hummed and fiddled with the fraying material at the ends of his jeans. He was definitely over dressed for night surfing. Andrew was surprised he wasn’t down there joining the others. 

“I guess so,” Neil replied. He turned his head to watch as the rest of the surfing crowd had mounted their boards and floated aimlessly at the edge of the water. Kevin was being very clearly ignored by Aaron. There was a pained look on Kevin’s face that Andrew couldn’t quite place. 

“You’re not going to join them?” Andrew asked, looking back over to Neil to gauge his reaction. Neil shrugged, never taking his eyes off of the water.

“What?” Andrew asked, catching Neil’s attention and waiting for those blue, blue eyes to settle on him, “You used to jump at any opportunity to get your fix.” 

Neil’s lips curled in a smile that was very much the smile Andrew had anticipated from him. Not the one he had given Andrew at the Surf Shop. This smile was light and sweet and Andrew wanted to press his thumb against Neil’s plump lower lip and force his way into Neil’s mouth. 

He quickly brushed the thought away and looked back to the shore. A decent wave was making its way towards them. Jeremy was the one to take the opportunity. Andrew watched him ride the first roll of the wave until it was big enough for him to stand and glide through the water. Neil hummed again in a way that sounded almost sad. 

“Things change,” he replied softly. 

Andrew looked back over only to see the look of longing on Neil’s face. It was the sort of look that said he wanted what they were having, but would most likely never have it again. 

“They do,” Andrew commented. He couldn’t stop the words from having a double meaning even if he had wanted. 

Neil tore his gaze away from the shore to look at Andrew, but the look of longing didn’t go away. Andrew felt his throat tighten.

“I missed you,” Neil admitted, before adding, “I missed Palmetto.” 

“You’re the one who left,” Andrew dismissed. For the first time since he had patched himself back together a month after Neil had left, Andrew let himself feel it. Feel exactly what he had lost. 

“I didn’t-“ Neil started but stopped himself, he tightened his grip around the edge of his jeans before letting go completely, “It doesn’t matter now.” He looked away. 

Andrew’s heart felt two times too heavy for his chest. 

“If you say so.” Andrew gripped his beer and stood from his spot, unearthing his feet from the sand with a gentle kick. “Let me know if you figure it out.” 

“Figure what out?” Neil asked, but Andrew was already walking away down the beach and back towards the home that he shared with his brother. 

He was extra pissed off at the sight of the surf boards across the entire first floor. He slammed the door shut and went to his room where there was no sign of surfing or beaches or Neil Josten.

*

“All I’m saying,” Allison said, her hand wrapped around a colorful alcoholic beverage, the other pointing in Renee’s direction, “Is that Kevin Day got hot while he was away.” 

Renee giggled and pushed Allison’s hand away from her face.

“You’re just saying that because he got buff,” Dan commented with a smile, “If he was still scrawny you wouldn’t have noticed.” 

“That’s a bold faced lie,” Allison retorted. Andrew rolled his eyes and took a drink of his whisky, not bothering to add anything to the conversation. 

Friday’s were reserved for bonfires and night surfing while Saturday’s were reserved for drinking and what Allison fondly called “goss.” Andrew only partook in the former. He only started showing up to these excursions because Aaron would drag him along, now it was just habit. Besides, there wasn’t anyone else to really talk to in Palmetto. Not unless he wanted to spend time with retirees or tourists. 

The usual spot for Saturday’s was the locally owned beach bar. It was a five minute walk down the beach from the Surf Shop. Andrew had arrived ten minutes prior after closing up shop, to find that most of them were already halfway through their second round of drinks. 

Apparently today’s topic of gossip was the long awaited return of Kevin Day and Neil Josten. A conversation that Andrew really didn’t want to have with any of them. 

“Neil grew into his own,” Renee said smoothly, flicking Andrew a look across the table. Andrew didn’t bother sending her a warning look, it would give far too much away if he pretended he cared.

“That’s very true,” Matt commented, “He’s adorable. Those baby blues!” 

“Are you going to leave me for Neil, babe?” Dan asked, but she was laughing, “I couldn’t really be mad about it.” 

“Of course not!” Matt said defensively, “Allison’s right though. Surfing really does something to a man.” 

“What does surfing do to a man?” 

Everyone at the table turned to see that Neil had found his way over to them. He was smiling but it was the kind of smile he always gave them, not the kind that Andrew was fond of. 

_Fond._ How stupid.

There was a chorus of, “Neil!” And “come sit!” That left Andrew both annoyed and exasperated. 

Matt got up and grabbed a chair from a nearby empty table, while the others made room for the newest arrival. Andrew didn’t move an inch, he also avoided looking in Neil’s direction just to be safe. His eyes caught Renee’s from across the table and she gave him a knowing look. Andrew scowled at her. 

“Kevin’s going to stop by in a bit,” Neil commented, “He had to talk to Wymack about something or other. I didn’t ask.” 

“Nice,” Allison said. Renee smacked her arm lightly and laughed when Allison let out a loud, “What?” 

Matt grabbed a second chair as Neil sat down at the edge of the table between Seth and Dan. As soon as Matt was seated they all fell into easy bickering as they always have. As if Neil had never left in the first place. It was easy to tell from having Neil here, that there had been a Neil sized hole that had been left unoccupied in their little group for all these years. It was a hole that only Andrew had seemed to notice. They took Neil’s random and sudden departure and concurrent disappearance in stride. Andrew had been the only one that felt the loss like a limb. 

Kevin arrived shortly after and took up the empty spot beside Neil. Aaron went incredibly quiet and still at his appearance. Andrew leaned back in his chair and watched as Aaron went from looking in Kevin’s direction to immediately looking away again. 

Whatever problem Aaron had with Kevin, it was abundantly clear that it went far deeper than Kevin leaving two years ago. Andrew couldn’t really put his finger on it, but he could tell that something was _seriously_ bothering Aaron about his return. 

“Did either of you find love while you were away?” Allison asked coyly, she wiggled her eyebrows in a teasing sort of way, “Saturdays are for drinking and _goss_ so you have to spill!” 

Kevin looked incredibly uncomfortable. He twisted in his chair and shrugged. 

“I was too focused on surfing to be honest,” He admitted, “Didn’t really date or anything like that.” 

“Bo-ring,” Allison chided, “How about you, Neil? Is there a girl waiting for you in San Diego? A boy perhaps?” 

Neil took it in stride, which wasn’t entirely surprising. He had admitted to Andrew once, many summers ago, that he wasn’t interested in anybody that way. At least not until Andrew. 

If something had changed in their time apart, well it wasn’t really clear for Andrew. Neil only laughed easily and shook his head. 

“Nope,” Neil said, “I don’t swing. Remember?” 

Allison let out a groan and threw her head back. 

“You’re both so absolutely boring. All you think about is surfing. There is more to life than riding the waves.” She made an exaggerated wave motion with her hand before shaking her head.

“Speaking of,” Matt said, “When are you going to surf with us again? We’re thinking of going out tomorrow. The weather is supposed to be good.” 

Neil went stark still at the comment. He gave Kevin a pleading look that screamed _help me_. If the others noticed the reaction, then they certainly didn’t show it. Kevin took it in stride. 

“I’ll join you tomorrow. Neil can’t. He’s going to see his Uncle,” Kevin explained easily, “What time?” 

Attention was immediately off of Neil and back onto Kevin and surfing and what the fuck ever they wanted to talk about, but Andrew only had eyes for Neil. He watched as Neil’s shoulders slumped in relief at the quick distraction. 

He had meant it then, what he said on the beach, about not surfing anymore. What Andrew wanted to know was _why_. The summers that Neil had spent at his Uncle’s house were filled with little more than surfing with the others. If he wasn’t surfing he was bothering Andrew at the surf shop or the beach house. 

Either way something wasn’t adding up and Andrew had every intention to try and solve the newest puzzle that Neil was presenting him. 

Aaron stood from his spot so quickly that he hit his knee on the underside of the table. Everyone flinched at the noise and Andrew watched with great interest as Aaron began to pull himself away. 

“I’m getting another round,” He commented under his breath. Everyone cheered for him except for Renee, Andrew, Kevin, and Neil. Kevin was far too busy watching Aaron’s fleeting form as he left the table and went up the beach back towards the bar. Andrew was more interested in watching Kevin’s reaction than the uptight form of his brother. 

“I’ll be right back,” Kevin said suddenly. He stood up and went after Aaron without another word. 

Renee and Andrew looked to each other from across the table. They had a silent conversation as they often did. 

_What was that?_ Renee’s look said. 

_Fuck if I know._ Andrew’s said. 

_Maybe you should talk to him._ Renee’s said. 

Andrew rolled his eyes which was a clear, _no thank you_ in their silent language. 

“Stop mind melding,” Allison cooed, wrapping herself around Renee’s shoulders, “It’s so fucking weird when you two are like this.” 

The others laughed except Neil. Andrew just looked away because there was nothing to really say to that. Renee and Andrew have been friends since their first day of kindergarten. Sometimes Andrew felt closer to her than he did his own twin. 

Thirty minutes passed relatively quickly, with Andrew avoiding Neil and Neil’s eyes staring holes into the side of Andrew’s head. Aaron came back to the table looking disheveled, pieces of hair falling from his ponytail and his clothing looking ruffled. Andrew raised his eyebrows in clear question but Aaron gave him a firm look that said _shut the fuck up_.

“We’re leaving,” Aaron’s mouth said. Andrew rolled his eyes and stood from the table.

The others yelled their farewells and Andrew only gave them a parting wave as they started off down the beach and back towards their house. 

They hadn’t even made it out of the bar before they heard whistling and coos of, “Kevin! Where were you? Is that a hickey!” 

Andrew shot Aaron a look only to find that the entire upper half of Aaron’s body had managed to turn a shade of light pink. 

“Fuck off,” Aaron said suddenly, before Andrew had the chance to ask. Andrew snorted and shoved his brother with his elbow. 

“Kevin?” Andrew asked, “Really?” 

“Fuck _off_ ,” Aaron replied. He picked up his pace and started speed walking down the beach. 

“I would say I’m happy for you,” Andrew called, which only served to make Aaron flip him off and start walking faster. 

He could bombard Aaron with questions later, he decided, for now it was enough to see Aaron flustered and hurrying down the sandy beach. 

*

Andrew was not a known liar. In fact, he very much did not enjoy the act of lying. He was an instigator at heart, so there was no real reason for him to keep his truths to himself, especially when it caused Aaron or one of the others to react negatively. 

With that being said, Andrew had lied to Kevin, Neil, and the others. This truth wasn’t interesting enough to admit to them and if he had admitted it, well it would have resulted in more harassment than he wanted to deal with. 

The truth was that Andrew still surfed from time to time. More often than not he did it alone, at night, on the private beach in front of Nicky’s, when Aaron was either out of the house or fast asleep. The surfboard he had used since he was in high school was tucked away in their shed outside of the house, mostly untouched and hidden away from prying eyes. 

What Aaron didn’t know was that sometimes, when Andrew was feeling the urge, Andrew would take his surfboard from the shed, go down to the private beach, and surf. 

It was half the adrenaline rush and half a force of habit, Andrew supposed. There wasn’t much else to do in a town like Palmetto. You either surfed, skateboarded, smoked weed, or drank and Andrew wasn’t interested in half of those things. He stuck to what he knew. 

He took his board out and waited for the right wave to hit. He rode them out as he always did, without much care or finesse. He had gotten through two decent waves when he caught sight of a figure on the beach. 

“Fuck,” He whispered. If it was anyone other than Renee or Aaron he was fucked. Aaron didn’t care enough to tell the others and Renee had been keeping his secret safe for the last three years. 

Andrew paddled back to the shore and glared as the figure came into full view. Neil watched him with a smug look on his face.

“I thought you said you didn’t surf anymore,” Neil commented. He stepped toward Andrew until he was just on the edge of the shore, the water coming up and brushing against his shoes before receding again.

“Why the fuck does it matter?” Andrew asked. He was angry, clearly. What did it matter why he lied about surfing? What did it fucking matter that he surfed when no one was watching. Or that he stopped right after Neil had left. Surfing wasn’t his thing, not really, not at all. 

“It matters to you, clearly,” Neil replied. He looked put off by Andrew’s tone, but in his usual fashion, he refused to back down, “Otherwise you wouldn’t go surfing in the middle of the night when you think no one will see you.” 

“What the fuck do you want, Neil?” Andrew asked. He stood from his board and dragged it back up to the beach, shoving one end into the half wet sand. He stopped right in front of Neil and glared at him.

“I don’t know,” Neil said softly. His voice was nearly carried away by the breeze, but Andrew still heard him. 

“Figure it out,” Andrew said, “Now fuck off.” 

“Why did you lie about surfing?” Neil asked, which was a stupid fucking question that Andrew could tell Neil already knew the answer to.

It was as simple as this. Surfing was something he shared with Neil. It was something Andrew put away the moment Neil left. It was something that Andrew didn’t want to share with anyone else. 

“Why do you care?” Andrew retorted. 

“Can you just answer a question for once?” Neil asked, frustrated.

“How about this, Neil?” Andrew asked. He stepped closer until they were toe to toe, “Where the fuck have you been the last two summers?” 

Neil went silent, his mouth snapping shut and his eyes wide. 

“No answer?” Andrew asked, “Okay. Let’s try a different question. Why don’t you surf anymore? It was always _your_ thing Neil. I was just along for the ride.” 

Fear. That was the first emotion that danced across Neil’s face. Fear and then complete sadness. It didn’t feel good to see it, especially not when Andrew was the one who put those emotions there.

“What is it?” Andrew asked, much gentler this time, “What happened to you?” 

Neil sucked in a breath and then stepped back. Andrew thought he was going to leave, but he didn’t. He leaned over and kicked off his shoes. Andrew watched with great confusion, until he wasn’t confused anymore. 

Neil didn’t stop, not even though Andrew could very clearly see what Neil had been hiding. He stood up straight, unbuttoned his pants and pushed them down. Leaving him in nothing but a pair of loose fitting boxers. 

Andrew didn’t care about that. He didn’t actually give a shit about anything else other than the sight of Neil’s legs, or the lack thereof.

Two prosthetic legs were staring back at Andrew where Neil’s legs once were. They started just above the knee, sleek black silicone and titanium. Andrew kept staring because he didn’t know what else to do with what he was seeing. Neil definitely did not have these the last time he was in Palmetto. Andrew would know, he had seen him naked the night before he disappeared. 

Andrew looked up from the prosthetics in time to see the sheer panic and fear in Neil’s crystal blue eyes. Neil was chewing harshly against his bottom lip, a habit that Andrew hated because it often resulted in chapped lips and small cuts. 

Without putting too much thought into it, Andrew reached out and let his thumb drag against Neil’s bottom lip, essentially freeing the flesh from Neil’s gnawing teeth. 

“Say something?” Neil asked around Andrew’s thumb. 

Andrew dropped his hand and pulled away. 

“What the fuck happened?” 

Neil gave him a sad look, a look that Andrew was really starting to hate on Neil’s face.

“My father,” Neil started, which should have been answer enough, but Andrew gestured for him to continue anyway. 

“The night before-” Neil started, sucking in a breath, “The night before I left. My father had sent some really threatening shit to my phone. He said he was going to burn down Stuart’s house. That he found my mother and that he was going to kill her unless I went back to him. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want him to kill her. I didn’t want him to hurt Uncle Stuart.” 

Neil paused and brushed his hands against his cheeks as if there were invincible tears on his face.

“I left in the middle of the night,” Neil said, “Right after we-” He looked at Andrew through the lashes of his eyes. Andrew didn’t need him to say it, he remembered that night down to the amount of breaths Neil had taken.

“I thought that if I went without telling anyone, that my dad would spare my mom but,” He paused and sucked in a breath, “He didn’t. He killed her and made me watch and then he cut the tendons behind my knees and ankles.” 

Andrew didn’t particularly want to hear it, but he kept listening anyway. His hands curled into tight fists. He wanted to shield Neil away, take him back to the beach house and hide him under layers of blankets and lock the door where no one could touch him. 

“I was in that house for three days,” Neil continued, “Just sort of bleeding out. My uncle was the one who found me. They arrested my dad and took him away. They probably could have saved my legs if they had gotten there sooner, but the injection was too far along at that point. I lost both of them.” 

“Why were you in California with Kevin?” Andrew asked. 

Neil gave him a sad smile before he said, “Uncle Stuart said that the best Doctors were out there. We went. I had surgery, a bunch of surgeries, actually. Was fitted for prosthesis when the stumps healed, and went through months and months of physical therapy. I could barely walk for a while. It still sort of hurts.

“There was a surfing competition in town. I missed it so much that I went to just watch. That’s where I found Kevin,” Neil said, “He didn’t react well to finding out about-” He gestured towards his legs, “So he sort of made it his business to stick around for a while. Bother me throughout physical therapy. Try and get me to surf again. It didn’t work, obviously. I have shit balance still, even though I’ve had prosthetics for over a year.” 

Andrew didn’t know what to say, which was probably a first. There was nothing really _to_ say. Neil had left because he thought he had to. He spent what he thought was going to be his last day on Earth with Andrew. It felt like far too much and yet it made perfect sense. Nothing had really been the same since Neil, Andrew allowed himself to confess that silently, nothing had been the same without him.

“I didn’t know,” Andrew said, “I should have noticed something was wrong.” 

“I didn’t want you to,” Neil confessed, “I’m sorry.” 

“Shut up,” Andrew said, “Say it again and I’ll kill you.” 

Neil’s face broke open like a wave. He laughed and the sound was so sweet and welcomed that Andrew’s knees nearly gave out. 

“Does that mean you forgive me?” Neil asked, “For leaving?” 

“No,” Andrew answered honestly, because he had spent two years without Neil while Neil struggled on his own. Two years that Andrew could have been there. Two years where Neil could have picked up the fucking phone and called to let him know he was alive. “But it’s a start.” 

Neil smiled the special smile that was usually only reserved for Andrew. 

“That’s enough for me,” Neil replied, “For now.” 

Andrew didn’t close the space between them. Didn’t reach out even though his entire body was screaming for him to pull Neil against him. He simply watched as Neil pulled his pants back on awkwardly and then stepped back into his shoes. 

The cold was finally starting to set in and Andrew realized that he was soaking wet and the sand was clumping against his wet feet. 

“Saturday,” Andrew said, “At the cove.”

“What?” Neil asked, confused. 

“Meet me at the cove on Saturday,” Andrew repeated, “Ten a.m. sharp. If you’re late-“

“I’ll be there,” Neil said, cutting him off.

Andrew nodded. He grabbed his surfboard from the wet sand and tucked it under his arm. 

“Wear a bathing suit,” Andrew said, before walking past Neil and back towards the beach house. 

Every part of him said that it was probably a bad idea to give in so easily. But the small unreasonable part of him, the part that was likely to admit how he _really_ felt about Neil, was full of blind hope. 

*

Aaron was in an awful mood and it was starting to drive Andrew up a wall. If he wasn’t working on random boards in the living room, he was smoking weed or avoiding people by hiding in his bedroom. At work Aaron continued to blast horrible music from the back room and only ever came out if a customer was requesting a repair or a polish. 

Andrew and Wymack were at the front counter, going over the summer budget, when Aaron came rushing into the surf shop. He ignored both of them as he stormed straight into the back room, the beads hitting the walls as he flung them aside. 

“What’s his problem?” Wymack asked, looking at Andrew expectantly. 

“The fuck should I know?” Andrew replied. Wymack gave him a hard look. Andrew rolled his eyes and stood up from his stool, dropping his budget papers and inventory sheets on to the counter. 

“I will go ask,” Andrew said.

Wymack nodded. “Good idea, kid.” 

Andrew went through the beaded door with much more care than Aaron had, and stepped into the back room. The surf shop wasn’t very large, but the back room took up the majority of the building anyway. Aaron was sitting at his work bench, an unwaxed surfboard laid out in front of him. 

“What is wrong with you?” Andrew asked, coming up to stand on one side of the table. Aaron ignored him in favor of grabbing some sanding paper and getting to work on the already smooth surfboard in front of him. 

“Nothing,” Aaron dismissed. 

“Bullshit,” Andrew replied, “You’re a shit liar. Does this have something to do with Kevin?”

Aaron’s hand stilled against the surfboard. He looked at Andrew with a sharp glare and then dropped the sandpaper back down onto the table, as if it had burned him. 

“Fuck you,” Aaron said. 

“Cut the shit, Aaron,” Andrew replied, “Just admit something is wrong. You’ve been acting like a dick since you found out Kevin was coming back. You can’t expect me not to say something.” 

Aaron was quiet for a moment, as if he was weighing his options of saying anything at all. Andrew let him simmer for as long as he needed. Wymack would cover the front of the shop and they could finish their budget meeting some other time. This meant that Andrew had all the time in the world to sit and wait for his brother to get his head out of his ass. 

“He left,” Aaron said, his voice much softer than it had been before. 

“And? How does that affect you at all?” Andrew asked, even though he thought he knew the answer.

“We were together,” Aaron replied darkly, “Sort of.” 

“There isn’t really a sort of about that,” Andrew said, “Either you were together or you weren’t.” 

“We were,” Aaron replied quickly, “Just secretly.” 

“For how long?” 

“Years.”

“Years?” 

“Yeah,” Aaron admitted quietly, “Since we were sophomores in high school.” 

“Jesus,” Andrew replied. He didn’t know what he had been expecting to hear but that definitely wasn’t it. “What about Katelyn?” 

Aaron shrugged. “I let you think we were together because it was easier that way. I wasn’t ready to admit that I’m-”

“Gay?” 

“Yeah,” Aaron replied quietly. He looked down at his hands as if he was ashamed to admit it. Andrew leaned forward on the table and waved a hand in front of his face to get his attention. 

“You shouldn’t be afraid to admit that,” Andrew said, “If I ever made you feel like you couldn’t-”

“No,” Aaron said quickly, “It wasn’t you. Or any of our friends. It was me.” 

Andrew could understand that. It had taken him a long time to admit it to himself, let alone come out to their “friends.” 

“So you were together for three years,” Andrew said, “And he left.” 

“I didn’t stop him,” Aaron admitted, “He told me he wanted to go because he wanted a professional career in surfing. Asked me to go with him, told me I could work on boards or learn how to make boards myself. It was tempting, but-” He paused and looked to Andrew with a serious face, “I like it here. I didn’t want to leave.” 

“So you told him to go,” Andrew guessed. 

“Yeah,” Aaron replied, “Even if I didn’t want him to.” 

“And he came back.” 

“Yeah.” 

“And you’re still mad at him.” 

“Ye- no. Not really. I don’t know,” Aaron said in defeat. He placed his face into his hands and let out a low groan, “He claims he came back for me. Said it was nice surfing professionally but that it wasn’t enough. That he didn’t realize what he left behind until it was too late. He said he would have come back sooner if he hadn’t run into Neil in California.” 

Andrew didn’t want to open that can of worms. He didn’t know how much Kevin had confided in Aaron. From the way Aaron said it, he assumed that he didn’t know. 

“Okay so what is the problem?” Andrew asked. 

Aaron let out a sigh and ran his hands over his face before looking back up at Andrew. 

“I don’t want to do it again,” Aaron admitted, “It fucking _sucked_ when he left. I tried to hide it but- it was fucking hard.” 

Andrew could relate to that. He wasn’t exactly peaches and cream when Neil had left. Aaron was there to witness the mess that Neil had left behind.

“I think that you’re thinking too much,” Andrew said, “Do you like him?” 

“I _love_ him,” Aaron confessed, “Fuck- I just don’t know what I would do if he left again.” 

“He won’t,” Andrew said, because he was sure that he wouldn’t.

“How do you know?” Aaron asked, “What makes you so sure?” 

“Because he came back,” Andrew said, “And if he were to leave again it wouldn’t be the type of leaving that’s final. He’d come back.” 

Aaron pondered this for a moment. His fingers ran through the shaved sides of his head and then to the back of his neck. Andrew waited patiently for him to process. 

“Fuck,” Aaron said quietly, “I should probably talk to him.” 

“Yes,” Andrew replied, “Probably for the best.” 

“What about you?” 

“What about me?” 

“Neil?” 

Andrew rolled his eyes and waved his brother off. 

“I have it handled.” 

Aaron snorted and gave Andrew an amused look.

“Sure,” He said, and he sounded as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, “Now fuck off. I have work to do.” 

“Fine,” Andrew replied. He stood up straight and walked out of the backroom. Wymack was handing a receipt off to a customer who waved happily as they walked away. 

“All good?” Wymack asked, when Andrew came to take up his spot at the front counter. 

“As good as it’s going to get,” Andrew replied. He grabbed his discarded inventory sheets and budget papers and set them back in front of him. 

“So about the board budget-” 

*

Andrew would be lying if he said he hadn’t spent the entire night on Friday freaking out about meeting Neil at the cove, a spot that they had sequestered for themselves when they were younger. A thousand different scenarios were going through his head throughout the bonfire the night before. 

He could fuck it all up and push Neil away. He could manage to say the wrong thing and freak Neil out. He could push and push until Neil finally had enough and left. 

There were a lot of what-ifs, but Andrew was determined to get it right. Which was sort of enough for him. Trying was better than not trying at all. 

Andrew had his surfboard ready to go and several towels and blankets set out on the very small sandy beach of the cove. No one came to this area because it was well hidden and the waves were never really big enough for aggressive surfing. It was perfect for what Andrew had planned. 

Neil showed up ten minutes before ten with flushed cheeks and a pair of board shorts on. Andrew looked him over and noted that he was wearing a different set of prosthesis this time around. Neil caught him staring and knocked his knuckles against the silicone. 

“Waterproof,” He offered, “Just in case.” Andrew only nodded.

Andrew waited until he had removed his shirt and discarded his own bag of belongings alongside Andrew’s. The new patch of scars was hard to miss across Neil’s chest and arms. Andrew knew that it wasn’t easy for Neil to show this part of him to anyone else. It was a silent peace offering, one that Andrew felt like he didn’t deserve. 

“Ready?” Andrew asked, he set the board into the water and got on. He offered a hand out to Neil and waited patiently for him to decide what he wanted to do. 

“I don’t know,” Neil confessed quietly, “I might fall.” 

“I won’t let you,” Andrew promised, “Come.” 

Neil walked into the water and straight over to the board. He took Andrew’s hand and allowed Andrew to hoist him up and onto the board in front of him. 

“The waves are gentler here,” Andrew said, “You can probably sit through them.” 

“This is so embarrassing,” Neil admitted, not looking back towards Andrew. 

“Shut up,” Andrew replied, “It’s not like we’re trying to impress anyone. 

Neil let out a short, stiff laugh and looked over his shoulder to Andrew. 

Andrew would never admit that he looked incredibly good with the blue of the water cast behind him. It caused a light fluttering of butterfly wings to come alive in his stomach. 

“Okay,” Andrew said before clearing his throat, he was sure that his face was bright red, “Let’s give it a go.” 

He leaned forward and grabbed the safety line and attached it to Neil’s wrist. Neil gave him a meaningful look but Andrew ignored it. 

Andrew waited for the perfect wave to come through before he started paddling them over the edge. Neil held on tightly as Andrew stood and took them through the first wave without much incident. It was a blessing that the waves were much smaller here, Andrew had never surfed with another person on his board, it was awkward and clunky but it was worth it to hear Neil laugh as the water hit him in the face. 

By the third wave, Neil was relaxed and leaning into it. He reached his hand out and pressed against the waves as they rode them out. Neither of them fell off the board, not even once, which was a perfect record for both of them. 

On the fourth wave Andrew offered to help Neil stand through it. Neil was apprehensive but agreed. Andrew held him with one arm and balanced them out with the other. Neil nearly slipped off because he was shaking so hard, but Andrew didn’t let him go until they were back to tame waters. 

Neil sank straight down to the board and Andrew went down with him. Their legs dangling into the water. Neil turned completely around so that he could face Andrew. 

His eyes were like the deep sea. Warm and never ending and shining in _just_ a way that had Andrew wanting to take a dip straight into them.

“Thank you,” Neil said softly. His hands fell in between their bodies and Andrew tried to hold back to the urge to take them into his own hands. 

“Don’t thank me,” Andrew said, just as softly. 

Neil held his gaze for several breaths. He leaned forward and waited. It was a silent offering, one that Andrew was free to refuse if he so wanted.

 _Fuck_ he definitely didn’t want to refuse that offering. Not when Neil was looking warm and hopeful, water dripping down his skin. Andrew leaned forward and kissed him. 

It tasted salty from the water and it ignited Andrew’s skin like a lit fuse. Andrew reached out and took Neil’s face into his hands, pulling him closer until Neil was scooting across the board until they were chest to chest. 

Neil’s skin felt warm under Andrew’s even the cool water wasn’t enough to soothe the fire they had started. 

Andrew remembered every soft noise Neil would make when he kissed him. He remembered the little sigh that he would let out when their lips would part against each other. 

Andrew tested to see if he still reacted the same ways he did two years ago. Andrew pressed in further, tilted Neil’s jaw in _just the right way_ so that their lips were falling open and they were connected in a way that made perfect sense to both of them. 

Neil let out a soft sigh against Andrew’s lips and Andrew felt his heart jump two beats into the future at the sound. 

_Yeah, nothing had really changed._

They kissed until their lips were swollen and red and their chests were heaving from lack of oxygen. Andrew kept Neil’s face tucked between his hands, and he ran his thumbs against Neil’s skin over and over and over until he felt as if he had been rubbed raw. 

“Stay,” Andrew said, after he was sure that his voice would work.

“Always,” Neil replied, he smiled warm and sweet, “No place else I would rather be.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the Kevaaron chapter that you may or may not have been waiting for. Enjoy!

Aaron was in a foul mood. 

He went to bed in a foul mood. He woke up in a foul mood. He went to work in a foul mood. It definitely didn’t help that he had Margaritaville stuck in his head after hearing it play in the general store that morning. It also didn’t help that it was ninety eight degrees and rising or that his shorts were starting to cling to his skin, or that he had hit a pebble on his skateboard this morning and narrowly avoided skinning his knee. 

It also didn’t help that Kevin Day was back in town. Actually, all of the above wasn’t nearly as bad as knowing that Kevin was in the same state, the same _town_ , a few _miles away_ from Aaron. 

He could get over hearing Jimmy Buffet replay in his head over and over but he couldn’t easily get over two years of absolute silence from Kevin. That was much harder to try and justify. 

It was his own fault really. He had told Kevin to leave. He told Kevin that he should do what was best for him. It was the most selfless thing Aaron had ever done and it definitely made him feel like absolute _shit_. 

The surf shop was quiet when Aaron arrived for work. Andrew barely spared him a glance before waving him off and going back to his book. Aaron flipped him off even though he wasn’t looking and went straight to the back.

There weren’t any deliveries today and there hadn’t been any requests for board repairs or polishings. Aaron looked over his scattered workspace and decided to clean up before he started work on one of his side projects. He organized and swept and then turned to the unfinished board that he kept tucked by the door. 

It was unpolished and waiting impatiently for Aaron to get his head out of his ass and work on it. It had been months since he took in the completely naked and broken board. It reminded him too much of the board he had put back together for Kevin when they were seniors in high school, just a few months before Kevin left. 

_He came back._

Aaron tightened his hands into fists and tried to push away the feeling that overwhelmed him whenever he thought about _that_. Three years with someone was a very long time to just move on from. He wondered if Kevin had moved on. He wondered if there was someone waiting for Kevin back in California. He wondered if there was a reason he was with _Neil_ for so long. 

_That_ was a dangerous thought on it’s own. Aaron had watched Andrew struggle to move on from Neil for months after he left unexpectedly. If both Aaron’s _whatever_ Kevin was, and Andrew’s, _whatever_ Neil was were together, it would be more than just awkward. 

It would probably tear Aaron apart. 

He slammed his hand onto the workbench to try and settle himself. He grabbed the closest surfboard that could use polishing and went to work, ignoring the naked board he had promised himself he would put back together again. 

Keeping his hands busy helped. By the time he had finished the board and put it up to dry all thoughts of Kevin had slipped away. It was only temporary, but it was enough to ebb Aaron’s very foul mood. 

The peace didn’t last very long. Andrew started banging incessantly on the bell out front. Aaron threw his head back and let out a quiet groan of frustration.

“Andrew,” Aaron started to say, he went to the backdoor and shoved the beads aside so he could step into the front of the shop, “I told you to stop using the bell like that. I’m not a dog.”

As soon as the words were out Aaron was freezing on the spot. Standing in front of him, right on the other side of the surf shop counter, was Kevin Day. The very person that Aaron did not want to think about. The very reason that Aaron had woken up in a foul mood. The very reason that Aaron wished he could be home, two sheets to the wind, and listening to some shitty lo-fi music and pretending that he wasn’t completely _losing his control._

Aaron tried not to look too completely lost at the sight of him. He barely heard Andrew saying something about _polishing Kevin’s board_. Aaron’s world had narrowed down to one six foot tall, green eyed, _bastard._

_Fuck._ He had gotten ripped since the last time Aaron had seen him. The tank top Kevin was currently sporting hid absolutely nothing from view, his arms were toned and Aaron had the urge to reach out and wrap his hands around the defined muscles and _squeeze_ to see if they would give ground. He wanted to press the blunt of his nails into Kevin’s skin and watch as they left marks. 

Aaron had always been attracted to Kevin, it was probably what had gotten them together in the first place. But _this_? Two years apart and Aaron still felt the immediate clench in his stomach, the way his heart flipped and flopped and then galloped to a steady beat like a stampede had just taken off inside his chest. 

The feeling threw him straight to the day they got together. When Kevin had pushed the loose blonde hair off of Aaron’s forehead and leaned in to kiss him on the cheek, but Aaron had turned his head because he thought that if he could steal just _one_ it would be enough to never bring it up again. It hadn’t been enough, obviously, not for either of them. Three years of sneaking around and being together had proven that it was a lot more than just blind attraction. 

Aaron couldn’t tear his eyes away from Kevin. Not even as Neil made his unexpected appearance at the counter. He could make out the sounds of Andrew and Neil bickering but it sounded like far off white noise. 

Kevin’s face softened. Aaron felt the skin on the back of his neck prickle. Aaron went to tear his gaze away and caught a flash of hurt in Kevin’s eyes. It was enough to bring him back to his senses. All he could hear was a roaring wave and Kevin’s voice saying, _If I go I don’t know if I will ever come back._

Aaron slammed his hand onto the front counter to get everyone’s attention. He reached his hand out for the board, _the_ board, the fucking board Aaron had put back together for Kevin all those years ago, and said, “Give me the board. I’ll polish it for you.” 

Kevin looked surprised for a second before nodding and handing the board over the counter to Aaron. 

“Come back in an hour,” he said. There was no point in giving him anything more than that. The familiar weight of the board that Aaron had painstakingly put time and energy into fixing, just for Kevin and his stupid fucking surfing addiction, felt like it weighed fifty times too heavy. He forced his way through the beaded back door and dropped the board onto the work table. 

He leaned over the edge and tried to take in even breaths. His stomach was heaving from the panic attack that he had been trying to repress. 

Kevin was back.

Then why did Aaron feel like he did the day he left? 

*

Aaron finished the board, left it with Andrew and left the shop under the guise of getting lunch. He grabbed his skateboard from under the counter, pulled his headphones out of his back pocket, put on something loud and mind numbing, and went to skate all the way to the Seashell Diner. The wind felt good against his skin, counteracting the beating hot rays from the sun. Skating tasted like freedom. It was something Aaron desperately needed right now. 

The diner was empty save for a full booth in the back corner. Aaron went straight to the counter and knocked his knuckles against the linoleum. 

Katelyn’s head popped up from behind the counter, her face breaking out into a wide smile. 

“Aaron,” She said happily, “Lunch time, already?” 

Aaron looked at the clock and shrugged. It was only eleven but Aaron didn’t think that he could have sat in the back of the surf shop for a moment longer. The sight of Kevin’s surfboard was enough to make him sick. 

“Yeah,” Aaron replied dryly. He set his skateboard against the counter and jumped into one of the cushioned high top chairs. The sweat on the backs of his legs caused him to stick to the vinyl fabric. He adjusted himself and let out a deep sigh. 

“Something bothering you?” Katelyn asked, sweet and thoughtful as always. 

Katelyn was Aaron’s oldest friend and was also, coincidentally, the only person in all of Palmetto that knew that Aaron and Kevin had been together since they were fifteen. Even if she knew all about Kevin and Aaron’s strange and complicated relationship, he didn’t feel like giving her the dirty details about Kevin’s return and his surprise visit to the surf shop. 

“No,” Aaron replied. He leaned back in the stool and kicked the underside of the counter idly. “Can you make me a wrap?”

“Always, babe,” Katelyn replied with a smile, “Soda?” 

“Yeah,” Aaron said, “Coke.” 

Katelyn disappeared into the back and returned a few minutes later with a wrap and a large stack of fries. She placed both in front of him and then bent over to get his soda. 

“I had it ready,” She commented with a smirk, “I knew you were going to come in today. I’m psychic.” 

“Are you now,” Aaron replied dryly, but he was smirking ever so slightly, “Might be a lucrative business during tourist season.” 

Katelyn stood up straight and placed his glass of coke on the counter. Aaron watched the bubbles mix with the ice and licked his lips. 

“That’s not a bad idea,” Katelyn said. She leaned over the counter beside him and made herself comfortable. Her ponytail spilling over the side of her head and just barely brushing against the bright blue countertop. “Careful, though. If it is more successful than the surf shop, I’ll just end up stealing you from Wymack.” 

Aaron snorted and took a sip of his soda. 

“Wymack wouldn’t let that happen. No one else has the patience to learn repairs like I did,” Aaron replied, “That’s why the place didn’t have any employees for so long. No one could deal with Wymack.” 

Katelyn giggled and it reminded Aaron of the bubbles in his Coke. She looked towards the full booth and sent them a warm smile. 

“I’ll be back,” She said, “Better check on my other customers.” 

She leaned back and pinched Aaron’s cheek before walking away. He rolled his eyes and looked down to the wrap on his plate. He had thought he could stomach eating, but it turned out that anxiety was a very strong food deterrent. 

Aaron poked around at his plate for a few minutes until Katelyn returned. She smiled and went into the back, the long end of her uniformed skirt swishing as she moved. 

Sometimes Aaron wondered what it would have been like if he was straight. If he could have gotten with Katelyn like Andrew had expected of him. Maybe then he wouldn’t be having full blown anxiety attacks at the mere thought or mention of a bastard like Kevin Day. 

_”If I leave-”_

Aaron almost slammed his head right into the countertop. 

_You made your choice,_ Aaron reminded himself, _You told him to leave._

Aaron pushed aside his plate, he definitely was not going to be able to stomach eating, and placed his face into his hands, the leather band around his wrist rubbing awkwardly against his jaw. 

He almost wished Kevin had never come back. 

Someone sat down on the stool beside him, but Aaron couldn’t be bothered to look up at them. He rubbed his temples and then sat back, pulling his plate closer so he could pretend to be a regular person who ate their food in the diner instead of having a panic attack in one. 

Katelyn reappeared again with a plate in her hand. She stopped short when she caught sight of the new arrival. A strange reaction that she wouldn’t have normally had if it was just a normal customer. Her eyes flicked to his and then quickly went back as if to say, _do see who's sitting next to you?_

Aaron swallowed down the dry feeling in his throat and turned to see that Kevin had taken up the stool beside him and was, in fact, watching him very closely. There was a small indentation between his eyebrows, a look that he often had when he was thinking far too hard about something, Aaron would have considered it cute if this wasn’t an absolutely awful situation to be in.

Katelyn cleared her throat awkwardly, but neither of them could manage to look away from each other. 

“Hello, Kevin,” Katelyn said, in passing, “Good to have you back. I’ll take your order in a second.” 

She didn’t give him a chance to reply, he probably wouldn’t have anyway, and simply started walking off towards the booth at the other end of the diner. 

They continued their staring contest for much longer than they needed. It was like an addiction, Aaron realized, different from any of the drugs he had tried in high school, this high left him feeling weak in the legs and had his heart fluttering like a swarm of bees. His anxiety spiked and Aaron was suddenly worried that his heart would give out at some point in the near future. 

“Hey,” Kevin said. _Fuck_ , he sounded exactly the same. His voice rolled like a wave off the shore. 

Aaron couldn’t find his voice to reply. All he managed was a stiff nod before looking away and back to the full plate of food in front of him. He could feel Kevin staring holes in the side of his head but he didn’t know what to say. There wasn’t anything to say, if Aaron was being honest. Kevin had left. Aaron had stayed. Life moved on. 

But it didn’t, not really, Aaron’s life hadn’t moved on at all. If it had he would be able to talk to Kevin without feeling light headed. Maybe Aaron could have moved on to someone else, found some other person to push his misplaced affections on.

Aaron sucked in a breath and stood from the stool. He grabbed his wallet and pulled out money, dropping it onto the counter without even checking if it was enough for the bill. Aaron could always come back later to pay. It wasn’t like they didn’t know where to find him. 

“Wait,” Kevin said suddenly. He reached a hand out to stop Aaron from moving but he didn’t dare touch, just let his hand hang between them in a silent gesture. 

_Stay._

Maybe Kevin should have. Even if Aaron had told him to go. Maybe he should have stayed. 

“No,” Aaron replied. He grabbed his skateboard, turned on his heel and walked straight out of the diner. He heard Katelyn call his name but he didn’t stop. He dropped his skateboard to the ground and went to get on before a hand was grabbing his elbow and pulling him away from the street. 

“Stop,” Kevin said firmly, “We need to talk.” 

Aaron spun around and pushed Kevin back a step. His hand immediately released Aaron’s elbow, but the feeling of his touch remained. 

“Fuck off,” Aaron said, straight to Kevin’s face, “Leave me alone.” 

“Just give me five minutes,” Kevin pleaded. Aaron watched him for a moment. The familiar green eyes. The hands that fit like gloves against Aaron’s ribcage. A mouth that used to take him apart late at night on the sandy private beach. 

Aaron would be lying if he didn’t want to grab the front of Kevin’s tank top and drag him down for a kiss. Fortunately, Aaron was a very good liar and had more than enough self restraint to keep his hands to himself. 

“No,” Aaron said firmly, “I think we both said what we wanted to say two years ago.”

“Did we?” Kevin asked, “Did _you_?”

_”If I go I don’t know if I will ever come back.”_

_”Then don’t.”_

_No._ “Yes.”

Kevin looked stricken with grief at the word. His eyes widened and his mouth opened and then closed as if he wanted to say something and then decided against it.

Aaron felt like _shit_.

“I just-“ Aaron started, his throat felt tight, “I don’t have anything to say to you. Not now.” 

Kevin nodded stiffly and swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing. 

Aaron missed him even when he was right in front of him. 

“I’m sorry,” Kevin said softly. 

Aaron watched him for just a moment. Let the words lap around them like water on the shore, touching their ankles before going out to sea again. 

He didn’t know what to say. Not really. Years from now he would lament about how turning away from Kevin at this exact moment was the hardest thing he had ever done. 

He turned and stepped onto his skateboard and left, willing his heart not to give out before he made it back to the surf shop.

*

Watching Kevin surf was always an experience. This time around felt much worse. Aaron couldn’t take his eyes off of Kevin while they were out night surfing. He always had perfect form, steady and balanced and graceful. Aaron had always admired him from afar whenever Kevin was out surfing, until he didn’t have to do it from afar anymore. 

Aaron could only watch Kevin surf twice before he had to paddle back to shore and leave. He went back to the house, ignored Andrew in the living room sulking, and went to shower and pass out. 

Allison was right. Surfing really did something to a man. 

Kevin was currently sitting right across from him, Neil close by his side. He pointedly tried not to look in Kevin’s direction, allowing the others at the table to hold the conversation. 

At the mention of _did you find love_ Aaron felt sick. He sat through it, ignoring the way Kevin shuffled and flicked his gaze to Aaron. He was overthinking, really always overthinking everything. When the conversation steered back towards surfing, Aaron stood, announced he was getting more drinks and left the table. Everyone cheered but it felt like background noise. Aaron went straight up the beach towards the bar and went around to the back.

He had a joint hidden in his front pocket that was bent out of shape. He quickly ran his fingers over it to smooth it out and then lit the end, taking in as much smoke as he could to settle his nerves. 

It was probably a good time to admit to himself that he missed Kevin. Of course it could be the mix of substances running through his system that’s allowing him to even think about his feelings for Kevin. He took another drag right after the first and welcomed the pleasant burn in the back of his throat. 

“Hey.” 

Aaron tried not to look startled at Kevin approaching him. He kept the joint nestled between his finger and thumb and turned in time to see Kevin coming up beside him. 

“Hey,” Aaron said back, dumbly. 

Kevin settled against the wall beside Aaron, he kicked the dirt under his feet absently.

“What are you doing?” Kevin asked, looking Aaron over with a warm look. 

“Hiding,” Aaron replied, because it was true. He held up the joint for Kevin to see. 

What he didn’t expect was for Kevin to reach out and wrap his long fingers around Araon’s wrist. He guided Aaron’s hand up to his lips and took a long drag. 

They maintained eye contact through the entire interaction. Aaron felt something warm start to seep into the pit of his stomach, his heart clenching painfully in his chest. 

“You’re avoiding me,” Kevin said. 

Aaron nodded because he couldn’t seem to manage to make his voice work. 

“We should talk about it,” Kevin said, his fingers curled a bit more around Aaron’s wrist, his thumb brushing right against his pulse.

“Yeah,” Aaron said dreamily, softly, his voice lilting, “Talk.” 

Kevin gave him a knowing smirk, the kind that he always gave Aaron before they did something really stupid. It was the same smirk Kevin had given him when they got off together for the first time. It felt like too much. Felt like not enough. Felt like walking up in his body two years ago, as if Kevin had never left. 

Aaron had enough drinks in him to lower any inhibitions. The weed was starting to kick in as well. He felt light headed and floaty. Felt like a Buoy just riding the waves. 

Suddenly he realized what he was waiting for. Kevin’s hand wrapped around his wrist, their eyes locked, their faces just inches apart. 

Aaron wanted to kiss him. More than anything. 

He thought maybe just one would settle his thirst. That he would have one and realize that Kevin wasn’t worth all of the hurt and heartbreak that Aaron had suffered for the last two years. 

_Fuck it_.

Aaron dropped his joint and reached out with his free hand, gripped the front of Kevin’s shirt and _tugged_ him down. They’re lips met and immediately Aaron remembered why this hadn’t worked the first time. He thought one kiss would have been enough when they were fifteen. It hadn’t been. It wasn’t now. 

Kevin let out a surprised breath and then immediately released Aaron’s wrist in favor of slotting his hands around Aaron’s rib cage, it was exactly where they were supposed to be. Aaron had missed the weight of them wrapped around his sides in a gesture that was both possessive and fond. Aaron pressed forward until they were nestled together from shoulder to thigh. 

It wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough. Aaron wanted to reach his hand through Kevin’s chest and dig himself a hole. He wanted to wrap himself around Kevin until they were two indistinguishable parts. Impossible to separate ever again. 

Aaron let out a sigh and deepened the kiss. Their lips brushing together, their teeth clacking awkwardly. Kevin turned him and pressed his back against the wall of the bar, his hands roaming down Aaron’s sides until he could slip them under the soft material of his shirt and press his hands against Aaron’s bare skin. 

It was painful to realize how much he had missed this. Every day since Kevin left, Aaron had missed this. Missed _him_.

Kevin was towering over Aaron but it didn’t feel restricting or terrifying. Aaron was more than happy being manhandled, especially when Kevin was pushing a leg between his thighs and brushing against him _right there_.

Aaron let out a low groan and broke the kiss, tracing his lips down the side of Kevin’s face, across his jaw, to the curve of his neck. Kevin let out a needy moan as Aaron took the sensitive skin between his teeth and _sucked_. It would bruise, probably, absolutely, especially when Aaron let his teeth bite into the skin just enough for Kevin to feel it. Just the way he liked it. Hard and fast and all consuming. 

Kevin pressed closer, one hand slipping down Aaron’s side in favor of wrapping around his thigh and hiking Aaron’s leg upwards. Aaron let out a deep groan and pulled away from Kevin’s neck, his head falling back against the wall. 

“Fuck,” Aaron ground out, both from the wince of his head hitting the wall and the feeling of Kevin grinding them together like a couple of horny teenagers. Aaron reached out and gripped Kevin’s forearms and _squeezed_ just like he wanted to the first time he saw him again. Kevin hummed and leaned forward to capture Aaron’s mouth once again. 

If they weren’t careful they would both end up dry humping to completion behind the tiki bar, an indecent and very public place. Aaron only had half the mind to care. He was too far gone now to pull away. 

Kevin ran his hand up Aaron’s front and scraped his fingers against Aaron’s nipple and Aaron couldn’t stop the groan he made straight against Kevin’s lips. There was no way that noise went unheard, Aaron had a tendency to be loud when they were together, now was not an exception to that. 

“Whose back there?” A voice called from around the corner. They pulled apart at lightning fast speed. Aaron whispered a quiet fuck under his breath and took in the state of Kevin in front of him. 

His pupils were blown, his cheeks flushed, lips swollen. He looked debauched and fucked out. Aaron could only assume he looked much the same. 

“Aaron,” Kevin whispered and it sounded like _I love you_. 

Something snapped inside Aaron and he couldn’t stop his mouth from opening and saying, “Why did you come back? Why are you doing this to me?” 

Kevin opened his mouth to explain but the sound of footsteps and a voice calling out forced them to both stop and move before they were caught. 

Kevin took Aaron’s hand and dragged him the other way around the small bar, stopping before they were back in the light and in their friend's line of sight. 

“I’m sorry,” Kevin said and Aaron was suddenly pissed off because Kevin was starting to sound like a broken record. 

“You said that already,” Aaron bit out, “What do you want, Kevin?” 

“I came back for you,” Kevin said quickly, “I realized that surfing wasn’t enough. It would _never_ really be enough, Aaron. I would have come back sooner but I ran into Neil in California and I- I can explain everything, can you just-“ he stopped and ran his hands through his hair, “Can we _talk_? Somewhere private?” 

It was probably a good idea. Aaron had a lot to say, not all of it nice either. But all he could think about was their friends sitting at the far end of the bar on the beach. He thought about Neil coming back with Kevin. He thought about what they would all think if Kevin and Aaron disappeared. He wondered what _Andrew_ would think.

“No,” Aaron said, “Not today.” 

“Aaron-” Kevin started but Aaron turned on his heel and stalked over. He made it back to the table and immediately glared when Andrew gave him a considerate look.

“We’re leaving,” Aaron said shortly. Andrew rolled his eyes and stood from the table without a second word. Without looking back he turned and stalked off down the beach towards their house. He could hear Kevin returning to the table and the others pointing out the very obvious mark that Aaron left him.

“Fuck off,” Aaron said, before Andrew could say anything. 

“Kevin?” Andrew asked, “Really?” 

“Fuck _off_.” 

He started walking faster because he didn’t want to deal with it. Didn’t want to see the judgemental look on Andrew’s face. Didn’t want _him_ to see the sadness on his own.

*

_Because he came back. And if he were to leave again it wouldn’t be the type of leaving that’s final. He’d come back._

Aaron kept repeating his conversation with Andrew in his head over and over again until he could really believe it. Until the words made sense. 

He knew exactly where to find Kevin on a sunny day like today. He went down the beach, headed straight to the private beaches where Wymack owned a small beach house. He went straight through the waning crowd and narrowly avoided stepping on anyone’s blankets and towels. 

Today he was painfully sober. He didn’t even let himself have one drag of a joint before going off to find Kevin. Andrew had eyed him warily from his spot on the counter, Neil tucked in his side with a mug of coffee in his hand. 

_”What’s wrong with him?”_ Neil had asked. Aaron didn’t even bother to flip them off as he left. 

He had to confront his past head on if he wanted to move on. One way or the other. It could be as simple as taking Kevin back if that was what he wanted. Aaron didn’t know if he should make it so easy for him. Which was probably a mixed signal, considering Aaron had dragged Kevin into a kiss just last week. 

It was fine, well it _would_ be fine, Aaron hoped it would be fine anyway. He wasn’t very good at this but he and Kevin had at least five years under their belts so if anyone could figure it out he hoped that it would be them. 

Kevin was exactly where Aaron assumed he would be. The beach by Wymack’s house was usually quiet, only a few stragglers from the houses nearby. It was rather rocky by the cliff’s edge and most families were too nervous to let their children run wild on wet rocks. Kevin was on his board in the middle of the water, looking over the edge of the ocean, his eyebrows furrowed as he waited for a decent wave. 

Aaron went right to the edge of the water and stopped. Kevin’s attention was far too transfixed on the water ahead of him. If Aaron waited for Kevin to notice him then they would get absolutely nowhere. 

That was the first problem wasn’t it? Aaron was always watching Kevin and Kevin was always watching the waves. 

The thought hit hard enough that Aaron had finally come to terms with the fact that even if Kevin was _back_ he would never be his again. Surfing was his first love. His only love. Aaron didn’t think that it would ever be enough for him to come second. He let out a sigh and shook his head. It wasn’t fair to ask Kevin to give up his favorite thing in the world for him. It wasn’t okay. He should save them both the trouble now and leave before Kevin noticed he was there. 

As if Kevin was somehow attuned to Aaron in a way that neither could really explain, Kevin turned his head and looked back towards the beach, his eyes immediately catching on Aaron on the sandy shore. 

Aaron sucked in a breath the moment Kevin’s green eyes locked on him. 

“Fuck,” Aaron whispered. 

Kevin turned and immediately started paddling himself back to shore. Aaron’s heart spiked with anxiety, his stomach twisting as Kevin got closer and closer. Aaron waited until he was on the beach, his board tucked under his arm, _the fucking board_ before he spoke. 

“Okay,” Aaron said, “I’m ready to talk.” 

Kevin looked startled but then his eyes softened and those green, green eyes turned into dark forests that Aaron could get lost in.

“Okay,” Kevin said softly, “I need to uhm-“ he looked down at his wet swimsuit and then looked back to Aaron.

“Right!” Aaron said a bit too loudly, his voice cracking from nerves, his face flushing red, “Change. You need to change. Probably.” 

Kevin let out a startled laugh and then ran his hands through his hand and _god_ what Aaron wouldn’t give to be the one running hands through Kevin’s hair. 

_Calm_.

“Do you want me to wait,” Aaron asked awkwardly.

“No,” Kevin said quickly, “Come inside. It’s fine. As long as you don’t mind waiting.” 

“Sure,” Aaron said, “Fine. Yes.”

Kevin gave him an easy smile and then walked them back up to Wymack’s house. The path was familiar. Aaron remembered taking it many nights when he would sneak down the beach from his house with Andrew to meet up with Kevin. It felt like such a long time ago and yet it also felt like just yesterday. If Aaron closed his eyes he could see a younger Kevin standing in front of him, their hands locked as they snuck around in the dark cover of night. 

They went inside the house and Kevin brought Aaron up to his bedroom before disappearing into the bathroom with a promise to _be right back_. Aaron sat down on the soft cushioned bed that felt as familiar as his own and looked over the bedroom that hadn’t really changed in two years. 

There were still pictures of them tacked to the wall over Kevin’s desk. Photos of them on the beach, at the surf shop, at the diner. Polaroids that their friends had taken and photos from their group outings at the bar or out surfing. Aaron stood up and walked straight over to one photo in particular. A single shot that Kevin had taken of them in the bathroom mirror, half dressed, tucked into each other’s sides, Aaron’s face hidden under his hand while Kevin smirked. 

Aaron reached out and took the photo off the wall, holding it in his hands carefully as if it would crumble if he pressed too hard. 

_This is what I lost_ , he thought to himself. 

The door opened and Aaron looked up to find Kevin dressed in an old tie-dyed t-shirt with a pair of loose fitting shorts on. He looked warm and soft and his face was flushed from rushing, his hair still wet from the ocean. 

“Hey,” Aaron said dumbly. 

Kevin smiled and walked into the room, closing the door behind him. They stood awkwardly for a moment, Aaron unsure what to do with himself and Kevin clearly debating if he wanted to give Aaron space or take a step closer. 

“I shouldn’t have left,” Kevin said, suddenly, “When you told me to leave, I just sort of-” He paused and waved his hand in the air in front of him in a vague gesture, “I took it to heart. I didn’t realize what I had said until it was too late.” 

“You said you didn’t think you would ever come back,” Aaron said softly, his voice was cracking again and he thought, _fuck_ he knew that if he wasn’t careful he might actually cry. 

“I know,” Kevin said, he ran his hands through his hair and shook his head, “I wanted you to come with me. I shouldn’t have given you an ultimatum.” 

“I should have asked you to stay,” Aaron said, weakly, “That’s what I really wanted.” 

Kevin looked him over and took one step forward, not close enough to reach out and touch, but close enough that Aaron felt the weight of the gesture for what it was. 

“We both fucked up,” Kevin confessed, “I want to make it right. I won’t leave again, not like last time. If I go somewhere I’ll always come back.” _For you_ was left unsaid but lingered between them like the smoke from Aaron’s joints. 

“I don’t want you to give up on your dream for me,” Aaron replied, “It wasn’t fair of me to make you choose.” 

“You didn’t,” Kevin said, “It wasn’t fair of me to think that I could have only one or the other.” 

“I would have waited,” Aaron said, “ _Fuck_ , Kev, I _did_ wait.” 

Kevin took another step forward. Aaron dropped the photo and reached out, grabbing the front of Kevin’s shirt and pulling him until they were pressed together, their sharp edges blurring into one. 

Kevin ran a hand down Aaron’s back and the warmth was enough to make Aaron’s eyes water against his will. He pressed his face into Kevin’s shoulder, stepping up on his tip-toes so he could dig himself in and never let go. 

“I love you,” Kevin said, “I never stopped.” 

“Me neither,” Aaron replied, his voice muffled in Kevin’s shoulder. They stood there for minutes, maybe hours, until Aaron’s legs were sore from reaching up and any tears had finally managed to be set free, never to return. 

Kevin pulled back first, he set Aaron back down to his feet and then took his face into his hands, brushing away the drying tears as best as he could. 

“I want this,” Kevin said, “I want to try again.” 

“Okay,” Aaron replied. All earlier thoughts of letting this go completely slipping away like water, “If you leave again-” 

“I won’t,” Kevin said quickly, cutting him off. Aaron scowled and pressed a firm finger into Kevin’s hard chest to drive across his point. 

“If you leave again,” Aaron said again, with more conviction, “I expect you to come back to me eventually. Oh, and call. Calling would have been nice.” 

Kevin laughed and dipped one of his hands under Aaron’s chin so he could lift his face upwards for a kiss. It was short and chaste but left a low simmering fire in Aaron’s stomach that made him dizzy. 

“Okay,” Kevin said when he pulled away, “I promise.” 

“Good,” Aaron said, “Now do me a favor and take your clothes off and then fuck me into the mattress.” 

Kevin let out a startled laugh and then wrapped his hands around Aaron’s waist, lifting him effortlessly. Aaron wrapped his legs around Kevin’s waist and buried one hand into Kevin’s hair, dragging him into a kiss. 

“Gladly,” Kevin said against Aaron’s mouth before turning and dropping them both down into the bed. 

Much later when Aaron was warm and sated with his cheek resting against Kevin’s chest, listening to the slow rise and fall of his breath, and the hard beating of his heart, he whispered, “I love you.” And more than meant it. 

*

Aaron woke up to music playing in the kitchen. It was loud enough that it reached all the way up to his bedroom and it was loud enough to know that it was definitely Kevin because who _else_ in Aaron’s life would be loudly listening to Elvis Presley at nine in the morning. 

Aaron groaned and rolled out of bed, throwing on one of his discarded sweaters before making his way out of his room and down the stairs to the first floor. 

The house was empty, Andrew and Neil were probably still asleep, _probably not for much longer_ , and Kevin was standing in the kitchen wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants making pancakes. Aaron scowled at the sight and then made his way through the living room, walking over his most recent project, and into the kitchen. The music was coming from a small stereo that was sat on the counter. 

Kevin was humming along and flipping a pancake, completely oblivious to Aaron behind him.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Aaron asked. Kevin turned and looked at him with a warm smile and then leaned over to quickly kiss him. 

“Morning,” Kevin said against his lips. Aaron scowled and pulled away, feeling gross and messy from sleep. 

“Do you know what time it is?” Aaron asked, Kevin hummed out a _yes_ and went back to his pancakes, “Seriously, you’re worrying me. Most mornings I have to bribe you out of bed. What is going on?” 

“I’ve been home for two months,” Kevin said, “Is that not worth celebrating?” 

“You could celebrate a bit quieter,” Aaron said, but his annoyance was washed away from the admission. He leaned against the counter across from Kevin and hoisted himself up so he could watch his boyfriend cook. 

_Boyfriend_. It felt as good to admit it out loud as it did to admit it to himself. 

“Are you planning on sharing these pancakes?” Aaron asked, “Because as soon as Andrew wakes up from our horrific music, you’re going to need to give him something so he doesn’t kill you.” 

Kevin laughed and brushed Aaron off with a wave of his batter covered spatula, “I know. I know. I have chocolate chip pancakes specifically for him.” 

The song changed over and Kevin sent Aaron a knowing smile when he heard what it was.

“Oh god,” Aaron said, but his lips were quirking upwards. Kevin made his way over and took hold of Aaron by the waist. 

“Don’t,” Aaron said quickly. Which wasn’t enough to stop Kevin from singing along to the song right against Aaron’s lips. Aaron tried to push him away but that only encouraged Kevin to press closer and sing a bit louder. 

“You are so embarrassing,” Aaron exclaimed, his voice laced with laughter, “Fuck off!” 

Kevin smirked against his lips and kept singing until Aaron was kissing him back, stopping his singing all together. 

“Wow this is sweet,” Andrew’s voice said. They both pulled apart and watched as Andrew and Neil walked into the living room. Neil looked half asleep, his hair mussed up and bent out of shape. Andrew didn’t look much better, his hair was just as messy but he had the dignity to look more angry than sleepy. “But you’re being too fucking noisy for this early.” 

“That’s what I said,” Aaron said petulantly. Which earned him a quick peck from Kevin before he was turning back to the stove. 

“I made pancakes,” Kevin offered. He held up a plate of chocolate chip pancakes out to Andrew who scowled but took the plate anyway. 

“Fine,” Andrew said, “I won’t kill you.” 

“Aw,” Neil cooed, “That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to Kevin.” 

Aaron rolled his eyes and watched them situate themselves at Andrew and Aaron’s small kitchen table. Kevin brought over more pancakes, a stick of butter, syrup, and orange juice for everyone. When he stepped back into the kitchen to grab the last of the food, Aaron caught his hand and tugged him over. 

“So domestic,” Aaron whispered before kissing Kevin soundly. 

“I do my best,” Kevin replied. He smirked and pulled away, helping Aaron off the counter and ushering him over to the dining table.

“Look at us,” Neil said with a smirk, “Family breakfast.” 

“I hate you all so much,” Andrew said, stabbing his pancakes, “I wish you would all move out.” 

“What would you do without us?” Neil asked, leaning on his elbow and giving Andrew a knowing look. 

“Live a quiet life,” Andrew said, “I would cherish it.” 

“Fuck off,” Aaron said with a smirk, “You’re enjoying this more than we are.” 

Andrew rolled his eyes but didn’t argue, which was as good as him saying that _yes_ he did enjoy this. 

They finished breakfast quietly and quickly. They went their separate ways, showering and dressing for the day. When the four of them met up again it was to grab their surfboards from the shack behind Nicky’s house. Aaron smirked knowingly as Andrew grabbed his board, sending Aaron the middle finger as he passed. 

Everyone was already waiting for them on the beach. Neil and Kevin were immediately dragged away by Dan, Matt, and Allison. Aaron hung back for a moment to watch them. For a second all he could see was their high school selves standing on the beach, taking the waves one at a time. 

“Weird, huh,” Andrew commented. Aaron turned to look at his brother and found that Andrew wasn’t even looking at him, eyes transfixed on the group in front of them. 

“Yeah,” Aaron confessed, looking back to their friends, “Who would have thought.” 

Andrew sighed and smacked Aaron’s back hard enough that he reeled forward. 

“What was that for?” Aaron asked, but was ignored as Andrew went off down the beach, quickly joining Neil and setting his board down in the water. 

Aaron sighed but couldn’t stop himself from smiling as he made his way over. Kevin gave him a warm look and reached a hand out. Aaron took it without thinking twice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It probably wasn't necessary to update the rating to M but I did anyway. 
> 
> I listened to Beach by The Neighborhood while writing this and it made me feel things. Do whatever you want with that information. And the song Kevin is singing at Aaron is Burning Love by Elvis Presley. I don’t make the rules.
> 
> I always add this even if y'all know but I did NOT edit this because I have no care in the world for being articulate. 
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr](http://stjosten.tumblr.com) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/stjosten)!

**Author's Note:**

> I will NOT pretend to know anything about surfing. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> I may or may not write a kevaaron half of this fic. We shall see. 
> 
> You can find me on [Tumblr!](http://stjosten.tumblr.com)


End file.
